With Arms Wide Open
by girlie73
Summary: Meredith is upset after a patient dies, and pushes Derek away. MerDer eventually. I suck at this, so just give it a try.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Well, this is my first Grey's Anatomy fic, and although I wasn't sure about it, I posted it anyways. Please R&R.

**Chapter 1**

"Who's presenting?

Meredith Grey stepped forward. "Renae Edwards, 19 year old female, sustained head trauma from a car accident. CT showed a tumor in the right frontal lobe. Derek Shepard looked at Meredith. "What do we do?" "The tumor is in her frontal lobe. Surgery can remove it, but it is highly risky. She has about a 45 chance of making it off the table." "From the scans it seems that she has about 4 weeks to live without the surgery." Derek looked down at the young woman. "Do you have any questions Ms. Edwards?"

"Can someone call Paige Bryans and have her pick up my son from daycare. They called and asked me to come."

"Of course."

"I think he is coming down with something, he was feeling sick today, but I have to work so I had to take him to daycare."

"When he gets here we'll check him out okay?"

"Okay." Derek and everyone but Meredith leaves.

"Do you have any questions about your diagnosis?"

"Why didn't they see it earlier? I mean, if its so bad, why couldn't my doctor have known, I had a physical less than 3 months ago."

"Sometimes you wont have any symptoms. You didn't." Meredith looked down at her. "Do you need anything else?"

"Yeah, I think I'm going to write a letter to my family, just incase I don't get to tell them in person. Can you help me?"

"Of course. Let me go get some paper and then I'll be back." Meredith smiled as she left the room. A few moments Meredith reentered the room. "Okay. Got it. Whenever your ready to begin." Slowly Renae started speaking, "Lucas, my baby, I love you. The day you were born was the best day of my life. I know we don't talk about your daddy, but when the time is right, Nana will tell you about him. He was wonderful. I want you to run around and get dirty. Laugh till your stomach hurts. Be kind, and respectful to your elders. Smile everyday, even if everything in your life is going wrong. Be happy my son. Life is what you make it. Don't be afraid to cry, it doesn't make you weak. Fall for the girl of your dreams, and cherish her with all you have. Lucas Michael, I love you, you will never be alone, because I will also be with you. I love you always and forever, Mommy." Meredith looked up and noticed the tears running down Renae's cheeks.

"Would you like to take a break?"

"Yes please." Meredith nodded.

"When you want to continue, have the nurse page me." All Renae could do was nod.

Meredith went down to the interns hallway, and sat down on one of the gurneys. Finally she let the tears fall.

_15 minutes later_

_Beep Beep Beep_

Meredith looked down at her pager. _Room 3073_. Meredith made her way back up to Renae's room to help her finish saying goodbye. On her way there she ran into Derek. "Is she going to have the surgery?"

"Yeah, but she needs some time first, she's writing a goodbye letter and she wants to make arrangements for her son. She knows that there is a chance she wont make it, but she would rather take the chance than not."

"Hey" Derek rubbed his hand along her cheek, "are you okay, you look like you were crying."

"I'm fine Derek, where's your wife?" Meredith turned around and left, being near him was too hard when she couldn't have him.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG

"Hey Renae, do you want to continue?"

"Yeah. I want to be done before Luke gets here." Meredith nodded and sat down. Renae took a deep breath and began,

"Mom, take care of Rose, tell her about me. Show her pictures and tell her stories. Make her laugh, often. Let her play in the rain, like you let us. Let her experience life and let her have fun. Take care of yourself. Never doubt that you are a wonderful mother, because you are. You are my hero. Never forget that I love you. Help to take care of Luke, and tell him about my Michael one day. I love you.

"Dawn, your in the middle now, be the mediator. Take care of Rose and Marie, and of little David. Love with all you have and live life like there's no tomorrow. Believe in everything you do. I love you, take care of yourself and have faith that everything will work out in the end.

"Marie, be a great mom to David, he will become a wonderful man if you guide him. Remind him of his Auntie Renae and tell him that I love him. Please take care of yourself and make sure that you love David with all you have. I love you.

"Dad, I love you and hope that you have a good life. Please take care and be a good grandpa. I love you.

"Lynn, I love you. Please give James a kiss for me, even though he doesn't remember me. Love him with all you have because that little boy deserves it. I love you guys.

"Lisa, kiss my lil' bug for me. Tell Kathryn I love her. Let her run around and let her experience life. Show her the beauty of a butterfly, or a raindrop. Be the wonderful mother I know you can be. Teach her about love and life. I love you.

"Paige, I love you so much. Thank you for being there every step of the way with Luke. I'm so sorry that I couldn't be Jamie's godmother. If I could have a I would have. Tell her about me, I'll be her godmother from heaven. I love you.

"Anne, you are one of my oldest and best friends. I love you. Remember all the good times that we had, like on my birthday in the hotel room years ago, that was great. I need you to take care of my little boy for me. I'm entrusting you with his care because I know you will raise him like he should be raised. Let him run and have fun. If anything should happen to you, please allow Paige to look after him. Let him spend lots of time with his Nana, they are close. Please look after Rose and Dawn too. I love you. Don't forget me please.

"I love you all, and hope that you wont forget to remember me."

Meredith let her tears fall as she listened to the young woman give her son away. She was still writing down what Renae had said.

"Dr. Grey, thank you so much. I don't think that I would have been able to do that by myself. As soon as my baby boy gets here I will have the surgery, but I have to tell him I love him one last time." Meredith couldn't say anything, so she nodded and left the room. She went into the closest on-call room and locked the door behind her. She sank down into the bed and sobbed. When her tears subsided she placed a hand on her stomach and smiled. She hoped she was as good a mother as Renae.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Well, this chapter isn't my favorite, but i thought that i would give you guys something else. Enjoy, and please review!**

**Chapter 2**

_Beep Beep Beep_

Meredith looked down at her pager and headed towards room 3073. She looked in at the little boy, sitting in bed beside his mother.

"Hey there, you must be Lucas." The little boy nodded his head and pointed to himself.

"Lu. I too" He held up two fingers and smiled at Meredith. Renae was smiling through her tears.

"Lucas I love you. Your are going to go and stay with auntie Anne, okay baby?"

"Mkay mommy, I wuv you." He gave his mother a kiss and a hug. She held onto him for a moment, and he stayed put, sensing that his mother needed him. "Bye mommy."

"Bye baby, I love you. I love you so much." Renae watched her best friend walk out of the room with her baby. She had told Anne to take him out, she didn't want him to be here if she didn't make it. Renae hugged herself and sobbed.

"Are you ready?"

"I guess." Meredith left as the nurses were wheeling her into surgery. She was about to head up to the gallery to watch when Derek stopped her.

"Do you want to scrub in?"

"Yeah. I would." Meredith smiled and headed to the scrub room. Her and Derek entered the OR and began Renae's surgery.

_Two Hours Later_

"She's flat lining, were losing her." Derek grabbed the paddles and placed them on Renae's chest. "Charged, Clear" Meredith watch as her body was lifted off the table but nothing changed on the monitor. "Charge to 300, Clear" Again, nothing. "360, Charged, Clear" Derek tried again, but nothing. In a last vain attempt to revive her he punched her in the heart. Nothing. Derek sighed as he began removing his head gear. "Time of death, 11:42 AM." Derek left the OR, as did Meredith. She wiped away a tear as she began washing her hands.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Derek approached Renae Edwards family, them rising as they saw him "Mrs. Edwards, I'm so sorry, but we lost her on the table." Mrs. Edwards sank down to the floor, several other people taking a step back and crying also. "We tried everything that we could, but it was a risky surgery to begin with." "Thank you, and tell Dr. Grey thank you for us. She helped to calm Renae when non of us could be here." Derek nodded and went to find Meredith.

_20 minutes later_

"Izzie, have you seen Meredith?"

"No. And even if I had I wouldn't tell you. You-you break her. Just leave her alone."  
Derek stood there as Izzie walked away. Maybe she was right. Maybe he should leave her alone. He began walking down he hall, but as he passed the on call room he heard a woman's sobs. He opened the door and walked into the dark room. Derek looked up and realized that he was right, it was Meredith.

"Mer, are you okay?" Meredith shook her head yes and let her tears run unchecked down her cheeks. Derek sat down by her and grabbed hold of her hand. "It'll be okay Mer, it will."

"No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"I mean no, it will not be okay Derek, it cant be, everything is too messed up, you chose Addison, you don't get to be my McDreamy. You lost that right when you chose her." Meredith got up and headed towards the door, trying to get away from the last person she had wanted to see.

"Meredith wait."

"No Derek, I'm tired of waiting, tired of everything, go back to your wife." Meredith opened the door and left, shattering all that was left of her fragile heart by closing the door on the man she loved and her child's father.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I moved about 5 months ahead and Meredith is now 7 months pregnant.

Chapter 3

Meredith sighed as she sat down on bench in the interns locker room. She was incredibly tired, but she was getting in the extra surgeries so that she could still become a resident with everyone else. She had six weeks before her maternity leave started and then would be back in after the baby was two months old. Derek and Addison had gone back to New York three months prior, and Meredith was yet to be getting over him.

"Meredith, did you get the labs for Anne Isaacs done yet?"

"Yes, here they are. I was just going to find you."  
"Sure you were." Bailey smiled and turned to leave, remembering what it had been like when she was pregnant, only she had someone to go home too. Meredith had Izzie and George. "You can stay in here for a few more minutes, but then you need to get back to work, and if anyone asks, I didn't know you were in here." Meredith smiled, Bailey still had to keep up her "Nazi" persona, even though having her son had made her somewhat soft.

_Beep Beep Beep_

Meredith got up, knowing that she was lucky for even getting the few minutes that she had gotten. She quickly made her way to trauma, to assist with the latest patient. Meredith heard the paramedic filling Bailey in on the patient.

"Jane Doe, found in the park, blunt force trauma to the head, along with several lacerations on her legs and abdomen."

"Lets go people, get her a CT asap, run tox screens, lets go!" Bailey barked at the nurses in the room. Bailey looked at Meredith, "Get her down to CT, then page me."

"Okay." Meredith nodded and wheeled the girl down to CT. She was about 8 from what Meredith could tell, had been treated badly. _Where were this girl's parents at? Why hadn't they been watching her?_ Ever since Meredith became pregnant, she had been having strong feelings about her young patients.

_After the scan, cut to Meredith sitting in the girls room, watching her sleep._

Meredith looked down as the young girl started to wake up. "Hey there."

"Hi." The little girl looked scared, so Meredith picked up her hand, glad that the young girl didn't flinch.

"My name's Meredith, what's yours?"

"My name is Nicole." Nicole smiled at Meredith, glad that she had a friend. "Did you call my daddy?" Meredith noticed the fear in her eyes, but didn't say anything about it.

"No, we don't have his number, we were waiting to figure out who you are."

"Oh, I don't want you to call him, please don't."  
"Shhh, its okay, don't worry. What happened, why are you so upset?"

"N-n-nothing." Nicole looked away, not wanting to get in trouble for telling, she knew what would happen if she did.

"Sweety, how did you hit your head?"

"I, I fell walking to school." Nicole smiled, proud of making up the lie.

"Are you sure, it looked like something hit you."  
"NO! He didn't do anything."

"Who is he?"

"Nobody. I fell, really." Meredith could tell she was lying but didn't want Nicole to get anymore worked up.

"Okay, I'm going to call your dad now, I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay."

Meredith left the room, her hand on her stomach. She ran into Bailey on her way to the nurse's station. "Dr. Bailey, I think that her dad hit her."

"Who, the little girl brought in earlier?"

"Yeah, she woke up, and one of the first things she asked was if we had called her father yet. She seemed skittish."  
"Well, call her dad, and then social services."  
"Okay."

_20 minutes later a man appeared in the doorway of Nicole's room._

"Who are you?"

"I'm her father. Who are you?"

"My name is Leslie Simmons, I work in social services. Can I ask you a few questions?"

"Yeah I guess." Leslie noticed that he had barely looked at his daughter laying in the hospital bed.

"Where were you when your daughter was injured?"

"I was at work. She fell down the stairs."

"Why was she home alone?"

"She wasn't when I left. My stupid ass girlfriend left her alone so that she could get to the store early."  
"Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not. How dare you assume that!"

"I'm not assuming anything. You said that your daughter fell down the stairs, correct?"

"Yes."

"Well your daughter said that she fell walking to school."

"That little" Leslie cut him off before he could continue.

"I think that you better not finish that sentence."

"I want to see my daughter." Leslie stepped aside to let him enter, "Alone."  
"I'll be right outside." Leslie motioned to right outside the door. "And the door stays open."

Jameson nodded and went into the room by his daughter. "I told you to say stairs, did I not?"

"Yes daddy, I'm sorry, but I said stairs last time and you told me not to say the same thing twice. I'm sorry daddy. I'll do better next time."

Meredith wanted to slap the "father" standing next to the little girl, but she wasn't sure that she was even supposed to be in the room.

"You had better be. I had to leave work to come get you. I thought that I told you to stay in bed. I never gave you permission to leave the house."  
"I'm sorry daddy, but I was tired of being inside and it was sunny. I was just going to go to the park for a little while."

"You stupid little bitch, if you had stayed in your bed like I told you, you wouldn't be in the hospital and I would still be at work!"  
"Mr. Carrington! That is your 8 year old daughter laying in that bed!" Before Meredith could continue, she felt herself flying backwards, hitting the wall. All she remembered was Nicole screaming before everything went black.


	4. Authors Note

Okay, so I have more written, but it doesn't seem that people are reading this, so if you would like to continue please tell me. If no one does, i guess it ends here. Thanks for reading nontheless.

Oh, and by the way, I do NOT own Grey's Anatomy.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Meredith, Meredith, wake up." Meredith slowly opened her eyes, unsure of why she was in a hospital bed.

"What happened?" Dr. Webber looked down at Meredith before continuing.

"You were pushed by Nicole's father, you hit your head."

"How's the baby? Is she okay, did she get hurt?"

"Meredith, she's stable now, but we are flying in one of the best neonatal surgeons there is."

"Addison, you are flying in Addison!"

The chief looked away for a moment, unsure of how to continue to tell Meredith that if she didn't deliver within about 48 hours the baby would be dead.

"Is it that bad?" Meredith asked, wondering why he was looking away.

"Yes it is. Why don't you get some rest, Addison will be here soon, and you will need to be rested."

"Okay." Meredith looked towards the window, tears streaming down her face, hoping that her baby would be alright.

_4 hours later_

"Dr. Grey, I need you to wake up so that I can ask you a few questions."

Meredith slowly opened her eyes, realizing that it was Addison Shepard standing in front of her.

"Sure." Addison could tell that she had been crying, her eyes were red and puffy. She didn't know how much the chief had told her.

"When was your last prenatal appointment?"

"About a month ago. My next appointment was in 4 days."

"Okay. When you fell, your rib punctured the placenta, and if we don't get the baby out in about 44 hours, it wont make it. The sooner the better."

"O-okay, when can we do it?"

"I can later today. I want to run some tests to see how the baby is doing. But right now I need to do an ultrasound."

Addison had done one prior to waking Meredith up, but she knew that it would help calm the young woman to hear her baby's heartbeat.

"Do you want to hear your baby?"

"Yes." Suddenly the sound of the unborn baby's heartbeat was heard, leaving Meredith speechless. "Is she alright?"

"Except for the placenta tear, yeah, she is. Is there anyone that you want me to call before surgery?"

"Um, Izzie, or Christina, but other than that its just me."

"Does he know about the baby?" Meredith could tell the Addison had figured out who the father was.

"No, he didn't chose me when it was just me, I didn't want him around if it was just for the baby. I couldn't live like that."

"I see. Were you planning on telling him?"

"Yes, but not now. You aren't going to tell him are you?"

"No. That is for you to do. I'm just your baby's doctor." Addison turned and left the room, leaving Meredith alone with her thoughts. Slowly Meredith drifted off to sleep, the sound of her baby's heartbeat lulling her to sleep.

_Just After Meredith's C-Section_

"Would you like to see your daughter?"

"Yeah, I would love to see her." Meredith smiled as she was handed her little girl. "Hey princess, look at you, your beautiful. I love you."

"I'll let you rest, do you want me to let everyone in?"

"Yeah."

_Everyone shuffles in_

"Hey Mer, she's beautiful."

"Yeah, she really is. What's her name?"

"Her name," Meredith looked down at her daughter, "is Danielle Lynn."

"Oh, that's so pretty!" Meredith laughed at Izzie, glad her friend was here.

"Yeah Mer, its nice." Christina smiled at 'her person'.

"Well, we better let you get some rest. We'll talk to you later." George said, while placing a kiss on the baby's head. "Sleep well."

Everyone left, leaving Meredith alone with her thoughts.

"Your name little one, is Danielle Lynn Shepard Grey, and you, are my little angel."

AN: I know that this is short, but I figured, that I would post this anyways. I'll post more soon. Thanks for reading, and for reviewing. Hope that you enjoyed it!


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